I started painting in my free time. I had an etsy shop for a while but it felt like I was selling my children, so I got rid of it. I gave a few away as gifts too, but now I worry that’s a hefty burden to put on someone. What can they do if they don’t like it? Or if say, you break up, and they’re just left with this painting that has “all my love” scrawled on the back, and they have to hide it in the attic or burn it or something? ** …… All theoretical, of course.

Then there have been a couple of judiciously-edited appearances on my favourite TV art competition. Across two series my screen time amounted to nearly 2 seconds, presumably on account of the terrible work I did on each occasion (panicked). But what fantastic fun it was all the same!

One day I’d like to have a little broom cupboard where I can paint and keep all my paintings and it will be like some sort of place to quietly go mad in old age, a bit like Churchill’s studio at Chartwell, except middle-class and warm.

Anyway, I do commissions. If you want one, get in touch. Landscapes naturally, but happy to take a swing at your Labrador if preferred.







**Maybe he says, “whatever you do, don’t stop painting”, whilst he’s busy breaking your heart, and it seems like a strange thing to say until later, re-treading it all,  you realise: oh god, you only restarted painting in the first place because your heart was breaking, and now you’ve given him these sodding paintings, and presumably he knew that long before you did, and now it’s spoiled, because he just thinks these paintings are a horrible reminder of your unpleasant disposal?


That’s very embarrassing.


All my love, anyway.